I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
