Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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