Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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