This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
