I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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