do herpes really smell.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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