He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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