I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
