Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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