Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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