Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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