plz talk dirty to me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
only if we run a train.
done.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
