girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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