I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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