Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize