you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize