I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
