My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
