I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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