he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
