I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
