whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
