The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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