oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
