I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
