You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
