My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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