Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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