there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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