That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
