he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Success! We fucked roommates!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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