I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
