we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
