i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
send nudes
from the living room?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
