I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
