im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
