that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i believe in u and ur pee
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
