I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We got so high we made milksteak
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
