when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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