she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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