Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
