He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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