I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
me + whiskey = a bad person
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
