Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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