I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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