any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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