I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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