Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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