Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
