giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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