just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
