.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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