Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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