Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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