I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
