i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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