somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
