I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Randomize
