You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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