im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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