he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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