you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
