If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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