the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
